Merry Christmas and looking back over the year.

First off Merry Christmas one and all.   I hope you all have a safe Christmas and New Year.

I have been sitting here thinking back over this last year and it has been a pretty good one as always there have been some lows but not to many.  And the Highs cancel out the lows anyway.

While it's tough being a shift workers wife I don't think I would have it any other way.  I know what to expect in this life and love the track that it's on.  The kids are growing up beautifully if I do say so myself, Husband is happy in his work and we are happy as a family and as a couple.

Then there is me looking for work, I am lucky enough to be in a position where I don't have to work and could be a lady of leisure but that life kind sucks for me, Now I am just waiting on a start date from the job I was found suitable for, hopefully at the beginning of the new year I will get that start date.

A response to a blog piece

Ok this morning I was shown a blog by my lovely friend over at Phenomenal Woman:  www.bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au

This guy who wrote this piece truly is an Arsehole.  So in response to his "lovely"(yes I am using sarcasm there) piece I have decided to write a response.

Here is his piece
 www.boldanddetermined.com/2012/11/29/how-to-meet-shy-girls/  Trust me it's gag worthy and may induce feelings for stabbiness.  I am hoping he see's it and reads it.

Dear Bold & Determined

Having just been shown your blog piece this morning I just wished to clear a few things up with you.  
Number 1- Women are not "whores"
Number 2- I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth
Number 3- This blog piece is more than likely the reason you are no longer having sex with ANY woman.

Women are not toys for you to play with they are human beings capable it seems of more intelligent thought than you.  You say you want to act like a man around a women here is a thought trying acting like a man and not a Neanderthal.  Women don't want to be "hunted" we are not animals and you are not a hunter.  We also aren't food.  It is quite obvious from your blog piece that you have some issues that you should really seek help about them until then please stay away from women.  

Encouraging me to touch a woman after she has said NO is encouraging them to commit sexual assault because NO actually means NO.  No is NOT an invitation for you to continue touching someone.  Also women enjoy this thing(now I know this is going to be hard for you) called PERSONAL SPACE and if you are up in it all you should be getting is a rather nasty case of sore balls.

Shy women wouldn't touch you with a barge pole.  I would know I am ONE.  And speaking personally if any guy tried those tactics on me he would end up with extremely sore BALLS.  

I can tell you right now not all shy girls are "girlish" or don't have High Career ambitions we are just quiet achievers going quietly about our business and will go as high as we wish to go.  And you under estimate just how much of an opinion shy girls actually have.  We have lots just because we don't state them loudly doesn't mean we don't have them and don't express them because we do.  

This one paragraph explains to all why you can't keep a girlfriend/wife it's because you don't understand women at all.

"Shy girls do not tend to have sky high over-confidence and are more down to earth and downright easier to be around. I’m sure you have been spoonfed all this baloney about girls needing more confidence, well they don’t. They have far too much artificial confidence and that’s one reason they cannot keep a boyfriend and one reason why they are mentally unbalanced and rely on pharmaceutical anti-depressants. A shy girl isn’t necessarily immune to all this, but there’s a good chance she is."

There is just so much wrong in that one paragraph.  

You go on to compound your mistake by stating that "Part of being a man is being protector of your property, that includes your woman." I am not sure what century you are living in by women stopped being Viewed as property a LONG TIME AGO.

There is SO much more wrong with your blog piece but I think it stands to reason that you now might understand why women are avoiding you like the plague.  You are insensitive, devoid of any actual emotion other than aggression and please take my advice about seeking Professional help seriously you seem like you really need it.

Ok this bit needs addressing again, just so it becomes clear in your mind.

Here is your take on it
"You don’t need to act like a nice guy dweeb to get a shy girl. You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself and “respect her boundaries”. You need to be the aggressor, like a gentleman caveman. Shy girls aren’t touchy feely."

Here is my break down of it.
"You don't need to act like a nice guy dweeb to get a shy girl"- No you don't need to act like a nice guy try actually being one and you may actually get a shy girl or any girl for that matter.
"You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself and “respect her boundaries”.- You do have to keep your hands to your self and respect her boundaries because if you don't you end up on a sexual assault charge.
"You need to be the aggressor, like a gentleman caveman."- if you are going to be an "aggressor" or caveman you need to leave out the word Gentlemen because I highly doubt that you know what a gentleman actually is.




.  

And it's getting hot.

I love summer I love the heat, the swimming the long nights.  However I hate living in a house with no FRIGGEN AIR CON I am so over it.  4 houses in 12 years and NO air con in a single one of them.  Last night when I went to sleep it was still 27 Degrees Celsius in the house and 20 outside.  The poor cat is feeling the heat currently she is lying on my bed under a ceiling fan trying to stay cool.

I want to be at my mums where the swimming is cheap cheap cheap not up here where it costs $50 less for one days worth of swimming than it does for a YEARS worth of swimming down at mum's.  Serious $75 for a family seasons ticket down there unlimited swimming from the time the pool opens in November until it closes in March/April compared to $25 for a day of swimming up here.

I want to be doing this

Not this

Please note that is NOT me in the pictures.

I was found suitable.

If you have read my earlier blogs pieces you would have read that I went for a job interview WAY back during the second week of the last school holidays.  So since then I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to hear back about the job.  I would have heard either way but I am happy to say that I was found SUITABLE YAY.

This is the first step into the next phase of my life, for so long now I have just been a stay at home mum which was great I have been able to stay at home with the kids until they were all in school. But they are getting older now and don't need me home as much sure child 3 is still little being only 6 but the job I went for is only 3 nights a week and husband would be home with them at night.

I think for me working would give me a little time for me something I haven't had in a long while and I would also stop being just child 1, 2 or 3's mum or Husbands wife I would be ME.

The kids have a better social life than me.

It's true my kids do have a better social life than I do.  Child 1 is rarely home these days instead is off with her friends at their place or riding between our house and her friends places.  Child 2 is still my home body child but for how long and Child 3 has no less than 2 parties to go to today.

And I am just the taxi driver ferrying her between the two.  I can't even remember the last time I had a night out without the kids and just gone out with friends.  And even if I plan one it has to be done around husband's stupid roster because otherwise I can't go anywhere or who will watch the kids for me.

I need a night off a night of drinking and dancing and just letting go for a while.  I love going to a little nightclub here that plays 80's music(hehe I am child of the 80's).

Most of all I need a break.

Friday Whine

This is a total white whine, I am currently on a menstrual cycle that is a week long that is now in it's 6th week with my 3rd period and to tell the truth I am totally over it.

I am over the mood swings and being bitchy, I am over the cost of feminine hygiene products and most of all I am sick of blood.

I am sick of not having a job I have applied for so many jobs and have heard nothing back, I want to WORK.

I am sick of this headache I have.

I am sick of shiftwork and now another change in rosters to start next year TRY STICKING TO ONE FUCKING ROSTER FOR LONGER THAN 6 BLOODY MONTHS.

I did warn you it was a whine blog today.

I am sick of fighting kids.

I am sick of never getting a break, I need a holiday a real one not one that involves me and the kids going to visit my mum.  That is NOT a holiday for me.

This is why religion has no place in our lives.

Yesterday I read an article that made me so sad, A woman who had gone into a Hospital in Ireland was refused a medical abortion because Ireland is "catholic country" , So what you say it's the Dr's right to refuse treatment based on his religion?

Does that opinion change if I mention that mother present with bleeding and a was diagnosed as having a miscarriage?  Fully dilated and leaking amniotic fluid and bleeding?  Still the Dr's right to refuse.  How about if I tell you that after 2 and a half days the babies heartbeat finally stopped and she was then operated on?

How about if the mother then dies because she became infected with septicaemia?

All of this could have been avoided and a woman would still be alive if they had just done the damn medical abortion it was a NON VIABLE pregnancy, their failure to act cost a woman her life.

This is just one of the many reason I think that religion has no place in our lives these days when religion comes before lives this have gone fucking wrong, this woman who sadly lost her life wasn't even Catholic but their religious beliefs came before her health, What is wrong with religion that they can let a woman die for the sake of their beliefs?

This is just one of the reasons I turned my back on organised religion, a world run by men who think they know what it is like to be a woman and therefore should have a say on what we should and shouldn't do with our bodies.  

I also don't think that it is the Catholic Churches place to teach morality when they don't practise what they preach.  When they practise morality in such cases as child sexual abuse at the hands of their clergymen and give them straight over to the police to investigate instead of closing ranks around them and protecting them from arrest then maybe they can preach morality.

Maybe when they admit they are and were wrong on many things they can preach morality.  I don't need organised religion to tell me what is moral I know that already I know it's wrong to deny some one medical treatment because of YOUR religious beliefs, I know it's wrong to protect child sex offenders, yet they get away with this stuff and have done for such a long time.

There was a case a number of years ago where a 14 year old girl became pregnant with TWINS after being sexually abused by her step father, the safest recourse for this poor girl was an abortion so to try and stop it from happening the Catholic Church ex communicated the Dr's, mother and nurses from the church.  The man who did this terrible thing nope he gets to still be a member of the church.

There are so many more reason these are just a few until the churches admit they are wrong and move on with the rest of the world they will soon become obsolete and personally speaking I hope that happens soon.    

Dear American's.

So yesterday President Obama got back in to Office(yay) but some dissatisfied people are talking about leaving and moving to Australia so I have a little test to see if they would like it in Australia.

So here it is

Do you agree to paying tax that will go on to pay for Free Hospital Care for all?
Yes-welcome to Australia
No- don't come here.

Do you like the fact that workers have rights at work and have to be paid a higher minimum wage(ie more than $5 an hour)?
Yes- welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you think that same sex couples should have the right to marry?(75% of Australia does and are pushing for marriage equality)
Yes-Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you to paying tax that will then go on to help single mother, families, old people, anyone earning under $150K Per year?
Yes- Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you agree with Government schools getting Government funding and providing a decent FREE Education to all?
Yes- Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you agree that women should have access to abortions up to 20 weeks for ANY reason?
Yes-Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

 Do you agree that women should have access to contraception and freely use it?
Yes- Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you agree with unions?
Yes-Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Do you agree with Climate Change and that we need to do something about it like the Carbon Tax?
Yes-Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here

Like gun control?
Yes-Welcome to Australia
No-Don't come here.

This is just a few of the things that Australia has if you don't agree with it I don't think that Australia is the place for you.

Conspiracy theory?

I know I said I would never post from the AVN but this is a special circumstance.  The Head of the AVN claims that she has been harassed by a member of the stop the (anti) Australian Vaccination Network, the emails in question was given a quick run down by the writer of said emails and they were nothing but polite.

SO AVN lets get one thing straight ASKING for
1) Clarification about a post on your Facebok page isn't Harassment.
2) see above.
3) Maybe you could try answering the question.

I normally leave well enough alone but on post by a moderator member of the AVN on their facebook page posted something that made my blood boil and the name of this blog piece.

In a few lines I am going to cut and paste what was written and then add my answer.  I was so shocked by this I had to take the night to calm myself down and compose myself before replying.

Here is what was said by the AVN.

"Australian Vaccination Network Two things to consider are that the system is provaccination (and every government department is indoctrinated with the benefits of vaccination) so that could be a reason that the police are not helpful. They are public servants but aren't likely to help when it goes against the beliefs they are supposed to uphold. The other thing is that taking legal action is costly. CP "

Conspiracy Theory all the way here.  So you think that the police didn't respond to your complaints because they are PRO Vaccination.  What a joke, did it occur to you that they didn't respond because there was nothing to RESPOND TO?

Did it occur to you that they have their hands full dealing with actual crimes not your made up crimes?  I am sure they looked over your complaints and the emails you said were harassing and decided there was NO CRIME COMMITTED.  I wonder how many times in the past few years you have wasted police time and resources on your so called harassment claims.  Do you even realise how much time the police have to put into these complains up to and over 8 to12 hours including paperwork.  That's 8 to 12 hours on a bogus complain that could have been better spent on a real complaint.

They Have to by law investigate every claim made and your constant complaints more than likely have them pulling their hair out in frustration at every single useless complaint you make that takes time and resources to look in to them.  Then you go on to a world wide website and say they aren't helping you because they are
A) Pro Vaccination
B) That every Government department is indoctrinated with the benefits of Vaccination

They aren't not acting because it goes against their beliefs they aren't acting on your complaints because NO CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED.

Wow just wow

I will readily admit that I am a liker of the facebook group Stop the Australian (Anti)Vaccination Network I feel that they do important work at stopping the misinformation given out by the Australian Vaccination Network(I won't be providing a link to this because of what they stand for).  The dangerous mis information and treatment of the parent's who's children have died for Vaccine Preventable diseases is disgusting.  Some of you will have heard the story of one such family that tragically lost their child to whooping cough only to have the AVN contact them and family member and also tried to get a copy of the autopsy report to "prove" she didn't die from whooping cough, here is just some of what these parents have had to go through

http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2010/s2951651.htm


Today while reading the Stop the Australian (Anti) Vaccination Network I was shown a link to another blog that had two different post that had me shaking my head with rage and I am not sure what.  I was speechless and horrified.  One post was discussing the MMS(Miracle Mineral solution)

http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/2012/05/30/mms-or-how-to-cure-autism-with-bleach-brought-to-you-by-autismone/

This is a serious one people are making a fortune out of providing "cures" for all different things including Autism from this stuff.  Which when mix as the directions state becomes BLEACH.  And people are giving this stuff to their children one part of it had me just horrified

"For MMS you will see vomiting and diarrhea. Parents discuss ramping up the dose of MMS until the child starts to vomit, then backing off.

The presentation from AutismOne includes:

It is common to find that the child gets a fever. This is very good."

Plus here is the recommendation from the FDA

"FDA Warns Consumers of Serious Harm from Drinking Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS)

Product contains industrial strength bleach

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is warning consumers not to take Miracle Mineral Solution, an oral liquid also known as “Miracle Mineral Supplement” or “MMS.” The product, when used as directed, produces an industrial bleach that can cause serious harm to health."

Look I understand that people want a cure for Autism but there isn't one, No "natural" remedy is going to fix your child.

Then there was this
http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/2010/12/09/bring-the-crazy-fecal-transplant/

"One of those is the Autism Web forums, where the latest trend being discussed is Fecal Transplant.

Yeah. Fecal Transplant.

It is actually a known therapy to attempt to cure

…pseudomembranous colitis (caused by Clostridium difficile), or ulcerative colitis which involves restoration of colon homeostasis by reintroducing normal bacterial flora from stool obtained from a healthy donor.

Feeling a bit icky yet?

But like so many known treatments for known ailments (chelation for example), the extreme biomed party like to put their own unique twist on things:

Ok, you guys, I got some info for you, please do not hate me 
Here is how this procedure was done by that physician in canada who does not practice anymore.
you collect the stool from a healthy relative (mother, father , so on) for a week in a bucket, no preservatives or cooling. Then mix well, fill in a decorating cone (that cloth cone you use to decorate a cake).
Use the cone as an enema to empty all the content in the patient’s colon. The patient needs to hold that as long as possible."

Why haven't people been pulled up for this?  Allowing people to "treat" others in this manner is extremely DANGEROUS they aren't health professionals they a "laymen" they could cause serious harm to their children doing either of these things.  Feeding your child bleach can lead to death and you in prison because you are poisoning your child.

Those suggesting dangerous information need to be stop, I don't want to infringe on anyone's right to free speech but please make sure you know what you are talking about and that this information is dangerous.

Going Girly and a life update.

I have decided that I need to stop biting my nails and to do so I need to go girly.  I have had to put fake nails on, this is because I am rather weird and will eat the stop bite stuff to continue to bite by nails.

My children think that it rather funny to see me trying to use my hands now that I have these damn nails on because I am so un use to long nails it's making this rather fun to try. Typing is a big pain in my butt because the nails catch other letters and I have to do back and undo the mistakes that happen.

They also think I should go all out girly and start wearing make up and dresses all the time.  HA like that is ever going to happen.

Many things have happened since my last blog, My oldest child turned 11(where have the years gone?), I have had a job interview and still waiting to hear back about it(will be told either way) and life in general has just been busy busy busy.  But the best thing to happen was that Husband finally took a holiday.  I mean a real one not 2 or 3 days but 9 days and we took the kids out of school a week early and went on a family holiday together.  It was great the kids loved spending that time with their dad as it rarely ever happens in this house.

Also I was sick for a while, I got sinusitis and went to the DR who while doing an exam noted that I had tonsillitis as well but failed to treat the tonsillitis so I ended up in hospital barely able to breath because of the pain and barely able to swallow which meant IV anti's and two weeks worth of taking pills after I was discharge.(great going GP not going back to them again).

That's my catch up, hopefully I will be more diligent in posting. 

Yay it's spring.

So spring is finally here after the coldest winter in 15 years.  I love spring because it means that summer is just around the corner and I LOVE summer.  I love the hot weather and during winter I dream of the hot days and warm nights.

I get sick and tired of nights that are in the minuses and days lower than 10 degree Celsius.

Spring means that flowers come out and the world brightens up.

Mega washing day.

Well today I had had enough the washing was mounting up and needed to be washed.  So as soon as the kids were up and ready for school while waiting for the time to kiss them goodbye I started washing and to be honest I haven't stopped.  Load after load has been done and hung out and brought back in now waiting to be ironed if needed(yeah right) and folded and put away.

I HATE mega wash day but for some reason can never get myself to do washing on a daily basis.  I need more than standing at the washing machine loading dirty clothes and linen into the machine and waiting for it to wash.

Have we taken to bubble wrapping our kids to much.

I was recently reading something about how parents can now be charge with child neglect for allowing their children under the age of 12 to walk to and from school alone.  WTF?  If it's child neglect send the child workers around to my place.  I allow my children to walk the 5 minute walk to school alone.  I get them up get them dressed, feed them breakfast and make their lunches then it's a kiss on the cheek and out the door you go to school AROUND THE CORNER.  All bar child3 who has only in the last week been allowed to walk themselves to school under the constant eye of child1.

How can giving children a little independence and self reliance be child neglect?  It's not like I am shoving them out the door not dressed or without food they are fed and dressed with food to take with them for lunch their hair is brushed and everything else has been done.

How can children learn to be confident, self reliant, productive members of society as adults if we continue to wrap them up in cotton wool or bubble wrap.  How do they learn things if mummy and daddy do everything for them?  How do they learn to trust their instincts if they have never been taught to use them?

The answer is very easy they don't they don't learn anything and the first time they are on their own and a major crisis happens(or it could be a minor one) they fall apart because they haven't been taught or used the skills before to get themselves out/through it.

I refuse to allow my children to be wrapped in bubble wrap, they will continue to be allowed to walk to school on their own it gives them a sense of achievement and allows them a little independence, they will be allowed to ride their bikes without me hoovering over them like some control freak who can't let her children out of her sight for fear of what might happen to them.  And most of all I refuse to allow fear of what might happen control my children's right to a happy carefree childhood.

Happy Hump day

I was shown a few pictures that I just have to share for Hump day

You are most welcome Enjoy your day.

School Holidays are over.

School Holidays are tough most of the time in this household because husband is either working or sleeping depending on the shift he has, but these holidays just passed were doubly bad due to the fact that I was sick.  I could barely stay awake and was really really sick.  But husband had to work and I had to care for the kids.  I couldn't take them anywhere because I didn't want to infect other people.

It was a LONG drawn out two weeks the kids had cabin fever I just had a fever and husband was working. I had all sort of plans for these holidays but they just never came to pass because I was to sick.  But now that school is back and the last few days was nothing but FIGHTS.  I am sort of like this
                            


PARTY I get a break and can relax for a while.

Next Holidays we are heading south to visit family and friends.

The Difficult boy

I love child 2 with all my heart but he is by most my most difficult child.  From the time he was born he has been a handful a chucky baby at best(he had pyloric stenosis http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001965/ ), That fixed but he was still chucky and when he was 8 months old we found out he was actually allergic to milk proteins and I was actually making him sick by breast feeding him.  Specialist formula and no more chucking he was walking at 9 and a half months and running soon after and has never seemed to stop.  He was a major runner(he would run everywhere) and could get naked, climb a fence(3 feet) and be running down the street in seconds flat from about 18 months old.  It wasn't unusual for it to be seen me running after him and him streaking down the street.

His other favourite pass time was pulling things apart to see how the worked, we lost Radio's, DVD players, alarm clocks and the list goes on and on and on.  Or he was climbing things he should be and breaking a TV which almost crushed him.  He is a boy of many trials but some many more great delights.  He is so loving and snuggle with his mum, He loves his friends fiercely and is so loyal.  He will be nasty to his sisters but won't allow others to do so.

But there is this total other side to him which is the violent child.  We had him assessed and he isn't on the spectrum he is just a high spirited child.  The child he was becoming wasn't the child I wanted to raise he was out of control but we got help and finally things are starting to settle down.  We did get him and us professional help and they were great and we have now also gotten him into Martial Arts which is helping his self esteem and his self control, there are still many moments where he can get out of control but they are shorter and not as explosive as they use to be but the more calm and rational child is more there as well.

While he is my most difficult child he is also the most loving, sweet and giving boy as well.  And I love him with all my heart.

Damn Flu

First day of school holidays and I have come down with the flu.  I have never felt this sick my bones get cold, I am snuffed up and I am hacking up stuff I can't describe.  I alternate between hot and cold and sweaty and I am either so tired I can barely stay awake or wide awake and my head hurts like hell.

I am hoping the kids don't get it because that is the last thing I need a house full of very sick kids and no anti biotics will help.  Plus husband is working as he doesn't have any leave left due to taking it off when he was sick.  I hope I get better soon I can't stand being sick and in charge of 3 kids who's idea of fun is to fight 24/7.

Spelling

What the hell has happened to spelling?
It has gone to crap and apparently not that much of a skill any more.  I will admit I am not a fantastic speller but I get by, my grammar sucks but I do ok with spelling.

For the past few months I have had to stop myself from correcting people's spelling mistakes on facebook, it's hard because sometimes the posts are extremely hard to read.  I have done it before and been thanked, I have done it to friends and family.  But the thing that is really pissing me off these days is TEXT TALK.

Is it really that hard to spell the damn words that you have to add numbers to make up for the shortfall?
Is before really that hard that it needs b4?
How about later? l8er
Way to go? w2g
Come on people we speak English not bingo.  And we wonder why spelling is going to hell it's because no one cares any more, Books with spelling mistakes BOOKS that are edited and re edited, newspapers, billboards.  Really people it's not that hard and if you aren't sure ASK SOME ONE.

Get it together Politicians

Another week and nothing happens we have had 2 Asylum seekers boats sink, How many lives need to be lost before our Government finally steps up and does the damn right thing about it.  All they talk about is stopping the boats, well you can stop them take an Air force plane over load up the Asylum seekers give them protection visa's and bring them home do this two to three times a year and it would stop.

Stop letting the lowest common denominator determined what you think the Australian people want.  We WANT these people safe, we want them free from harm, we want the smuggling to STOP.  We don't want people taking their lives into their own hands on a leaky boat to get here.  We don't want them sent to Naruru where you can forget about them and we sure as fuck don't want them sent to Malaysia where they run the risk of being locked up for being an Asylum seeker.

We don't want yet another fucking committee telling us fuck all again, we sure as hell don't want Tony Abbott and his bloody boat phone.  We want to Open up the lucky country that is Australia to those who are in dire need.  Stop dicking with people's lives and man the fuck up and do the right thing.

Domestic Violence

Due to a recent "sports start" here in Australia Domestic violence has been being talk about again.  It's really hard to explain to people who have never been in a Domestic Violence situation why it's so hard to get out and why people don't often realise they are in a Domestic Violent relationship until it's way to late.

Trust me when I tell you that you don't fall in love with a domestic abuser you fall in love with their alter ego. You don't fall in love with some one who beats you on the first date, or starts putting you down and verbally abusing you from the word go.  It creeps up on you they start out small a verbal word here a put down there, it's so subtle that you don't even realise that it's happening and you question if you took it the wrong way.

Then it gets bigger, more put downs more isolation sometimes violent outbursts that are blamed on you.  Then there is the beating(this never happened to me) There is a cycle of abuse the loving, the violence, the apologies the loving the violence and around and around it goes.  The more you are abused the harder it is to get out.  You start to believe the lies that you are fat, ugly, useless, that no one else will love you like he does, that you deserve what you are getting, that it's your fault, if only you would do things right they wouldn't get angry with you.

Then there is the fear I am grateful that I never had children in my situation but he wanted some even though I was only 16 at the time he wanted me to give up school and have a child I am so glad I kept the fact that I was on the pill a secret because if he had found out I would have paid the price.  As it was while I was never beaten he was attempted and I managed to lock myself in the bedroom with a set of draws against the door to keep him out.  Until you have lived with the fear that your supposedly loving partner puts in you, you will never understand why women and some men stay in abusive relationships.

I wonder how many people realise that the most dangerous time in a domestic abusive relationship is when you leave because the abuser has lost control and wants it back.  You live in fear that they will come after you, they threaten to take your children away they threaten and some do end up killing you.

I was lucky I was able to go on a "holiday" to go see my mum in a town a few hours away and it was from the safety of her house that I called him and told him I wasn't coming back, Many woman aren't that lucky they have to run in the middle of the night or the middle of the day when their partners are either asleep or at work and they are leaving with barely more than the clothes on their backs.

So next time you hear of a woman in a domestic violent situation and are wondering why they don't leave don't assume it's because they don't want to it's because they are afraid to.

Girly girls and Tomboys.

I have to admit I am a tomboy, I hate dresses I live in jeans and boots, I don't get the need for more shoes than you can wear, or handbags or make up.  I like things simple I hate pink and prefer blue.  I would rather be out drinking with the boys than inside drinking with the girls.  I like rude jokes and crude sense of humour.

Don't get me wrong I do like looking like a girl I just prefer comfort over fashion.  I tried so hard to make my girls tomboys yet I seem to have gotten two girls who are girly.  They love dressed, they love shoes, they want make up(but I deny this request) one already has her ear pierced and the other wants it done(not going to happen until she is 8 or older).

Both hate rough games both are indoor types no matter how much I push them outside.  One loves playing barbies and I have to make my self suffer and play with her just to keep her happy(I really can't think of anything worse).  So how did I the tomboy end up with two girly girls?

It's only half way through the year but we have a winner.

The most stupidest thing of the year has a winner and we are only half way through.  While reading my favourite parenting site I came across this article http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/news/national/national/general/touch-too-much-pupils-protest-at-school-ban-on-contact/2590731.aspx?storypage=1

I am serious stunned at the stupid of it all.  Banning touching at school what the hell is wrong with this picture.  Naww children were being hurt sure that's sad but seriously NO touching no wonder the world is totally fucked up when you can't hug your mate or give someone a high five for something.

What happened to the days where a little rough play was encouraged, the days where the only thing that was banned was british bulldog?  Why are we wrapping our kids up in cotton wool then sending them out as adults to deal with a world they know nothing about.  Life is tough, people are rough children need to be prepared for this they can't be wrapped in bubble wrap.

When I was a kid broken bones were cool, a bruise was nothing, we played rough talked tough and we lived.  Billy carts, tree houses, rope swings, swimming in creeks, getting dirty, outside without parental supervision.  When the hell did we become a bunch of namdy pamdy morons?

How is this in anyway acceptable?  How do children learn when they aren't allowed to try?  How do they learn compassion if they can't hug their friends when they are upset?

WAKE UP WORLD we are taking things way to far.

An Amazing blog post.

I have just read the most amazing blog post, it pulled on my heartstrings and decided that I had to share it.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html This is one of the most sad and loving things I have ever read.  When I first saw the title I though ok this is going to be a great rant about religion and their stance on homosexuality but it isn't it's much much more.

It's a blog about love about acceptance and about tolerance.  It's about living life to the fullest and while accepting the "sinner" but hating the "sin"(just to be clear I don't think that homosexuality is a sin).  It's about looking past people's differences and seeing the actual story within.  I sat here reading this blog(please read it all but be warned it's long 3 pages long) and I was crying and in it I recognised something of me in it.  I am not a religious person and I am not tolerant of those who are and try to "convert" me.  I have been rude and judgemental about it and I have hurt people.  Hurting people was never my intention I just wanted them to stop preaching and leave me alone.

I am a great support of homosexual rights and I am big on fighting for marriage equality for same sex couples.  I believe you have the right to your religion just like I have the right not to believe.  But have I been hurting people with my judgements, I have rolled my eyes and shouted them down instead of respecting their positions.  I have friends of many faiths but even they now not to talk to me about it and I use it to ridicule them and in doing that I am no better than those using religion to cover up their hatred.  This blog opened my eyes and for that I am grateful.

What in the hell is wrong with the world today.

I am remembering a time last year when child 3 was telling me that one of the boys in her class told her he didn't like her because she wasn't sexy.  She wasn't sexy, she was 5 she didn't need to be sexy and I told her so.  But really it's not surprising that children are picking up on what is deemed sexy thin women are deemed sexy anyone over a size 12 is considered plus size.  What has happened to us when people think that bordering on anorexia is sexy and good looking, where fake is preferred to real, where you are considered fat if you are above a size 12.

Earlier this year I was in Sydney and went shopping with husband for new jeans.  I walked into one store and asked for a size 16 pair of jeans, the girl looked at me with contempt and with a smug tone told me that " We don't carry anything larger than a 14" Sure ok I am not skinny I am a little overweight but seriously I don't need to be spoken down to like I am a lessor being, Luckily the next shop I went into went all out with their help and not only found me the size I needed but helped me make sure that they fit properly and I was comfortable in them before buying them it was outstanding service and as soon as I got home I fired off an email to the parent company congratulating them on their wonderful staff.  The other company got a short terse email about teaching their employee's to speak nicely to customers because we are the base of their business.

How have we let it come to this?  I feel for my girls because they are always going to be judged by their looks or their boob size before anything else.

Why have we gone from seeing this woman a sex goddess to seeing 

as one?

 

Happy Hump day(Wednesday middle of the week)

Happy Hump Day you are welcome 

Late nights

Recently I have been having some late nights due to a bout of insomnia.  I really hate insomnia it's the pits especially when you have children and you have to get up early in the morning to see them off to school.  It wouldn't be so bad if husband was on days off but he isn't he is working the morning shift and is gone by 6am in the morning.  I am left feeling like crap all day long but then when it's bedtime I get a 100th wind and I am wide awake again and unable to fall asleep til 4 or 5 in the morning which leaves me having only about 3 hours of sleep a night.  Really I should be use to it because it happens every so often but I am not and I am left tired and grumpy and frustrated because I really want to sleep but can't.  I use to be a night owl when I didn't have kids and the insomnia didn't bother me so much because I didn't have to get up early.

I have tried pills, they leave me feeling fuzzy and incoherent the next day, mediation just doesn't work, destressing doesn't work actually one Dr suggested this and I laughed in his face and another Dr told me welcome to parenthood I wanted to punch him in the face.  Why do Dr's assume just because you are a parent that all woe's and illnesses is due to children.  My children are older they aren't babies they sleep all night, I am not up and down because of them, I have a problem no it won't go away by destressing I know I have tried.  No it's not because of my children.  There has to be some reason for it don't brush me off.

The realities of parenting.

When I was pregnant with child number 1 husband and I had discussions of what parenthood would be like, he saw sunshine and rainbows with well behave children.  What we got was a child who rarely slept unless she was in my arms and didn't like her daddy until she was about 18 months old.  Husband use to complain that I had her off switch.  He would hold her while I was doing something and she would scream and scream and scream and no matter what he did she wouldn't settle insert mummy and all was right with her world, she would stop screaming and calm down.  Then 17 months later we added another child into the mix and trust there was no sunshine and rainbows it was nappies, tantrums, feeding making sure the one kid didn't poke the other child awake.

Trust me when I say it's not all rainbows and sunshine sure there are days where things go well and everything is happy.  Yes parenting is great but it's damn hard work.  The late nights, the never ending supply of dirty nappies, the toilet training, the mess they make the stuff they break, the shrill cries that grate on your nerves.  Don't get me wrong parenting is rewarding seeing your child smile for the first time, a hug, the delight in their eyes when the discover that they can do something, watching them grow and learn.  But it's tough, nothing worth having is easy and it's the same with parenting.

There is the PND, cracked nipples(if breastfeeding), judgement if you breast feed, judgement if you don't.  Parenting advice from strangers, people touching you like you are public property when pregnant.  Judgement from strangers if you happen to be young and with two children but your husband is at work(yes this happened to me).  Books that say one thing, books that say another, your child not adhering to your set scheduling for them.  The Stress the strain.  The expectations.  And this is just with healthy children imagine how hard it would be with children who are sick, or premmie.  When going into parenting you have to remember that this is real life and in real life things can get tough.  Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

The lights of my life.

As I have told you before I have 3 children they are the lights of my life well most days anyway.  I have 2 girl children and one boy child.

Child 1 is my oldest girl child and has much to her fathers horror started "growing up" she has hit what I call the 3 P's pimples, puberty and periods well we have 2 out of 3.  She is going to be rather tall and at 10 has over taken my mother in hight(much to my mum's horror and my daughters amusement).  And she isn't that far off being taller than me.  She is my drama queen child.  She loves her friends, family and country music(I trained her well) And we have the same shoe size.  She is into computers and gaming just like her father.

Child 2 is my only boy and he is all boy, rough and tumble and forgets that sometimes his sisters don't want to play rough with him.  He is a sweet and gentle boy who with the occasional outburst.  He loves funny things like funny youtube clips.  Is way to involved in a computer game(that's his father coming out in him) called minecraft.  At 9 he has a huge sense of social justice and hates seeing people bullied, often leaving his self open as a target to the bullies.

Then there is my baby girl(who would throw a fit if she knew I called her that)  at 6 she is truly and individual who marches to the beat of her own drum and always has.  She isn't a very affectionate child and it's rare that she will give you a kiss when a cuddle will do just as well if not better in her books.  She love barbies and her friends, hates going to school in the morning but hates coming home in the afternoon.  She is a lover of movies and the old cartoons(scooby do and tom and jerry).

These three are the people I would lay my life on the line for they are the sunshine on rainy days, they cheer me up when I am feeling down.  They are my everything.  

Things that make you go :O

I love facebook and the funny stuff you can find on there but in recent weeks I have found myself with my jaw hanging open at the stupid things I have seen.  Today for instance I saw one funny with the question can my girl baby get pregnant if I have sex while pregnant?

Don't believe me?  Here have a look http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091208190143AAJXEQJ  I am sitting here hoping that this is a joke question and the person asking isn't serious but I some how doubt it.  

I know it's funny and you really should shake your head at the stupid things you see and read yet some how while it is funny it's sad at the same time.   

My friends.

I love my friends the ones near and the ones far, a lot of them have come to be like family to me there when I need them and I am there when they need me.  They accept that I am a little nuts yet still love me.

I have wonderful friends there is Crissy over at Phenomenal Woman http://bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au who I talk to most days, we share everything and even though we are states away from each other we are great friends.  Then there are the people I have meet due to facebook games such as Kingdoms of Camelot who have become like family I am in their lives and they are in mine and most of us talk daily over skype or through the game.

Then there is my sister in law not only is she my sister in law but is also a great friend, And a big mention to my actual sister who has been there with me through the hard times and the good ones.  Then I have my cousins who are just as crazy as I am(we think it's genetic LOL).  These are the people who help keep me sane.

So to all my Friends THANK YOU for being YOU.

The great job hunt.

So after being a stay at home mum for the last 11 years I am looking for work.  This is a rather scary thing for me because I have been out of the work force for so so so long.  Last year I did two months of short term work, but now I am looking for long term forever work.  I am sick and tired of my own company(ie me by myself).  I need people interaction cause I am quite boring after spending that last two years with just me for company on the days that Husband is at work and kids are at school.  There is only so much you can say to yourself and how much housework you can do with out going totally crazy.  Worst of all I have to now arrange my days around Dr Phil.

So in the last two weeks I have applied for 4 jobs and will apply for more until I get one.  Really I need a job that is going to let me work around husband's hours or at least a 9 til 2 job but I don't think it's very likely.  I am always asked if husband is pressuring me to go to work but the reality is that he isn't.  He is happy for me to stay at home if that is what I want to do, he is really supportive of anything that I choose to do.

I am feel like I am slowly losing what ever brain matter I had staying at home.  I am not using my brain all that much and I need something to do to keep from going mad.

So here is hoping I find a job soon.

1005 people are NOT the majority.

Dear media outlets when you run a story saying the majority of Australian's are against the Carbon Tax and support Mr Abbott's plan to abolish it maybe you should interview more that 1005 people.  You can't say that less than 0.00001% of the population that you interviewed(we have something like 27 MILLION people in Australia) are the Majority of Australian's.  It may be the majority of the people you spoke to but 1005 people are NOT and never will be the Majority of Australian's unless there was a death plague and millions of people died.  I know that the heading the majority of 1005 people interviewed isn't exactly a headline grabber but a little more of the truth in your reporting would go a long way to putting the faith people have lost in journalist.

This was nothing more than a media beat up.  A majority would be 20 million out of 27 million or 17 million out of 27 million not 1005 out of 27 million.

The Ahh Bra

Ok Ok I fell for the hype this new beaut bra was going to fix all my boob woes.  I was going to be lifted, supported and finally be able to wear a bra with no under wire.  It was all in the promo right this was the bra to beat all bra's.

Well It's not it sucked as a bra I wasn't lifted, I wasn't supported, I wasn't separated(2 boobs instead of a mono boob) the only thing it did was fix the bra fat you get at the back.  Sure if you are small breasted I am sure this just might be the bra for you but big breasted ladies trust me THIS ISN'T THE BRA YOU WANT.  They did NOTHING to support my 12DD boobs at all hell if I ran in it I could have knocked myself out.  So a week after buying the Ahh Bra I went bra shopping again and now have two lovely UNDERWIRE Bra's holding, supporting my boobs plus lifting them back to where they were pre children and breast feeding.  Lesson learnt No Ahh Bra's for me.

Chilli Con Carne

Ok this won't be a regular thing I am not much of a foodie, and this one is by request.  I was bragging last night that I made a great chilli con carne and was asked for the recipe so here it is.(must note that this is from a readers digest cookbook that my nan got me)

1tbsp extra virgin olive oil
350g lean stewing beef cut into small cubes
1 large onion finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic crushed
1/2 tsp cumin seeds
1tsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 can chopped tomatoes(400g tin)
2 cans red kidney beans
300ml salt reduced beef stock.

Now for the cooking method
heat oil in a large flameproof casserole dish, add the beef and fry over high heat, stirring occasionally, for 3-4 minutes or until well browned.  Remove with slotted spoon.

Reduce the heat and add the onion to the pan.  Stir well and cook gently for 10 minutes.  Add the garlic, cumin seeds and chilli flakes and cook, stirring, for 1 minute, Then return the meat to the pan.  Add tomato paste, tomatoes, beans and stock.  Stir well and bring to the boil.  Reduce the heat so the mixture is gently simmering, then cover with a lid and cook for 1-1 1/2 or until the meat is tender.  Stir occasionally.

So there it is one chilli con carne recipe.   Enjoy.

Why?

Why are people so stupid?
Why do they no do a little research before saying stupid things?
Why do they continue to argue with you when you point out when they are wrong?


These are just a few of the thoughts that have run around my head today.  I was playing a game on facebook today having a chat with a few of the people there talking about how cold it was and which heating was the best.  I said central heating for the win and most agreed.  Then from no where someone pipes up with I am from Australia and we don't have Central heating here in Australia.  Now most of us had already indicated that we were from Australia and were a little dumb founded by this.

I piped up with that I am from Australia and I have Central heating, The person then asked me what state I was in and I told them.  They went Oh I am from NSW and we don't have it here, your state must be the only one that has it.  At this point a few others piped up with their states and the fact that they had Central heating yet this one person still argued that in NSW they didn't have Central heating.  

Back to square one

So as you all know today was the day I was going to get Champix(the drug that helps you stop smoking), Well I was going to get it but the Dr's denied my request for it due to previous mental health issues(depression).  I am really disappointed because I have tried all other methods to try and quit but I have been unsuccessful in all attempts.  This was to be my last hope, I have tried quitting cold turkey and lasted two days, I have tried patches and just lit up a smoke, I have done the gum, the lozengers, the inhalers(they taste like 4 day old smokes and makes you want to smoke a real one).

I plan to try again soon but right now I am to upset I just want to smoke.

I just found out how unimportant I really am.

Ok so I was posting on Facebook and Husband was having a slight go at me.  He told me to google myself my name plus facebook.  I read 5 pages in and there was NOTHING about me.  None of my awesome posts, none of my witty comebacks to people, none of my nothing.  You have no idea how sad it is to google yourself and find nothing.

I found a crap load of people who share my name though but not a single one of them was me.  Here I was thinking I am the centre of the universe and there is NOTHING about me.  How can I not be in there.

Then to I was sooking about it to my friend Crissy over at Phenomenal Woman http://bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/lifting-from-fog.html who decides to be a bitch and rub it in that in searching her name not only does she pop up on the first page the WHOLE DAMN first page is HER'S that wench.

BAH

Tomorrow my mum is coming to visit, and my house is a mess.  If it's still messy when she gets here I will cop a lecture for the whole time she is here.  I have 2 sick kids, I am off to the Dr's tomorrow to get a script for the drug that helps you quit smoking.  I am stressed to the max.

I have also applied for a job which is stressing me for two reasons 1 what if I don't get it and 2 what if I do.  Makes no sense but this is me.  I really should be racing around like a headless chook cleaning the house up but I can't work up the energy to do so.

Pro Choice

Yesterday I was involved in a discussion about pro choice for woman's reproductive rights.  And the discussion and me sitting here with my mouth hanging open in shock.  The amount of times I heard I am pro choice BUT had me shaking my head in disbelief.  It's a bit like saying I am not a racist BUT.  I was left wondering how in the world can you be pro choice but then place your own limitations onto someone else's choice.

I heard I am pro choice but only up to 6 weeks.   WTF most woman don't even know they are pregnant at 6 weeks.

I am pro choice but only up to 12 weeks.

I am pro choice but not for abortions preformed at 39 weeks.  This one had me going Whoa there back the horse up No clinic in Australia would preform an abortion at 39 weeks No Dr would preform one at that many weeks they would just preform a C-section if the mothers life was in danger.

For those of you unaware of abortion laws in Australia most states allow abortion up to 23 weeks gestation after that up to a certain point only for medically necessary reason that 3 Dr's have to agree to(ie the mother life or mental health is in danger or for genetic defects).

I informed those in the discussion that they can't be pro choice if you allowed YOUR limitations to someone else choice and was shouted down, I was told that was Bullshit and that I couldn't define pro choice for someone else.  But for me it's pretty simple either you support a woman's right to choice over her reproductive right regardless of what you would do or you don't.  If you don't you aren't pro choice.  Personally an Abortion is something I couldn't do but just because it's not something I would do doesn't mean that someone else can't make that choice for themselves.

I guess my blog isn't what you thought it would be.

I got to thinking today that my blog isn't what people would have expected when the read who I am.  I am betting people just thought this would be yet another mummy blog who would post about her children and how hard life is with a Husband who is a shift worker.  I am sure there will be more post about these things but since I am more than just a wife and mother I will blog about things I am passionate about as well.

To tell you the truth my blog isn't what I thought it would be either I really thought I would use this space to piss and moan about my life yet somehow it has taken on a life of it's own and is more than what I thought it would be to me.  By now with most of my post I am sure people have realised that while I am a wife and mother I am passionate about same sex marriage, I am a strong believer in being involved and knowing what is going on in politics.  I am a big supporter of getting it right with the refugees who come to Australia by any means.  Oh and I also tend to have a rather foul mouth and rarely stop swearing(I have tried to cure myself of swearing but I can't seem to stop).

There are many things in life that I get passionate about and like to share with you few who actually read my blog.  I like to challenge the way people think to look outside their own little boxes, it also could be that I am a rather pushy bitch and like being right and love it when I can prove people wrong(I am evil like that :P).

Same Sex Marriage.

This is one thing that everyone seems to have an opinion on.  Most Churches are against it as with most religious people because it "devalues" marriage.

When I hear statements like that I can't help but think that those people(those making the statements are stupid) How can two people loving each other devalue your marriage?  Why does two people getting married worry you so much?

I was raised to treat every one as an equal as I am doing with child1, 2 and 3.  They know about same sex couples and have never batted an eye lid.  I fight for same sex marriage because I want to be able to tell my children that I fought for what was right and fair.  How can anyone deny others the right to marry whom they love.

Celebrities marrying for 55hours or 72 days devalue marriage more than Same sex couples would they are just two people who love each other and want to get married.

I broke down and Cried at the Motor Registry Office

So today I had to go get new plates, so off I go to the Motor Registry Office(from here on out to be known as MRO) Get all my stuff together and go in.  I fill in all the paper work including a Stat Dec stating that the Plate had been STOLEN and gave them the Police Job Number.  I had been told by the Police that it would Cost me $0 to get my new plates because mine were stolen.

Nope this was wrong information I had to cough up $34.10 for new plates because and I quote the guy serving me " Otherwise it would be a Government hand out for a vanity reason" Umm dude my PLATES WERE STOLEN I have NO choice but to change them because they were used in the course of a CRIME.  I don't want to get pulled over by the Police asking if I was the one who committed that CRIME.  So I had my last $20(tough week) and I had to borrow $14.10 to make up the difference to pay for my plates.

I was so upset and frustrated that I broke down and cried the guy at the counter was so embarrassed that he had caused me to cry I am sure he felt bad but came off sounding like and ass.

Oh and to top it all off the NEW PLATES DON"T FIT MY CAR.

Mother's Day

Mother's day was yesterday and all around mum's were waking to breakfast in bed and pressies from the kids well most of them were I however was woken by a phonecall from MIL(mother in law) wanting to talk to Husband about some computer stuff.  Child 3 presented me with a gift of a poster she had made at school on why she likes me.  She likes me because and I quote "I like mum because she lets me watch the goblin king and the biggest loser" Oh dear.

I was then given a half hearted Happy Mother's day by child 1 and child 2.  I knew that husband had gotten me a box of chocolates for mothers day so I waited ALL day long for him to present them to me didn't happen.  I also had to cook dinner.

It wasn't until Husband was going to bed that I asked if I could have my Mother's day present he then remembered that he had gotten me one.

Personally I think it topped off a rather crappy weekend which started on Friday night with a phonecall from the local police asking me if I was missing a number plate from my car.  I was it turns out some ASSHOLE has stolen my number plate driven to a service station filled up with petrol and FUCK OFF with out paying thinking since they have MY number plate I will get into trouble for it.

Sigh.

I think I am rude you tell me.

Ok so it's Government budget time yet again and once again there are whiners and whingers nothing unusual there but one story I read really pissed me off.  A single woman was whinging about not getting anything but paying a crap load of tax.

Lets set the picture she is a single woman no kids earning over $80k per YEAR and was whinging that she is getting nothing out of the budget yet she pays so much tax.  She was only going to get something when she was either OLD or was FORCED to have children(yes her words FORCED).  I have to say that if you are a single person on $80k a year and you are crying because you aren't going to be getting benefits then you are doing something WAY wrong and yes I posted a comment under the article to that effect.  How far outside of your pay packet are you living if you are on $80k a year and are complaining?

What the hell has gone on is Australia when people earning this much money are complaining that they need Government handouts to survive as a single person.  You have a decent paying job, you are able bodied what more do you want?

You want to know what you are getting for your tax dollars look at the roads you drive on, the police protecting your safety, the hospitals you use, the nurses who care for you, the medicare rebate you get, the public transport, the school you went to(public or private are both funded by the Government to some degree)  Just look around you to see what you are paying your taxes on.  Personally I would rather see the major amounts of money gathered by the Carbon tax and mining tax spend on hospitals, schools, and other stuff than another "free money" pay off but I am not in Government.

Sharing my Favourite youtube clips

Today for a nice change from my ranting I thought I would share with my readers my favourite youtube clips there are a few of them.

First there is this one, one of the most heart warming heart wrenching clips you will see.  It's a compilation of a lot of the military homecoming clips you will see on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSMlIM9zLio

Then there is the soldiers blowing off steam while in a combat zone.  It's nice to see that they get a little time for some fun stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW1toLy_FMQ&feature=fvsr

This guy is just amazing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k11Zxbeye_g

Then the air force gets a role
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqaWdkdFb3Y

There are many more amazing clips like these on youtube, hope you enjoy a few of my favourites.

Stay at home mum's

There is so much stigma attached to stay at home mum's these days.  I really don't get it, woman make choices that are best for their families.  I know I did, I am a stay at home mum.  This is a role I love most days some days I get a little tired of the daily grind but who doesn't?  This was a choice made by husband and my self back when child 1 was born.  I would be the stay at home parent and husband would work.  His plan is for me to eventually get a job that will go over and above his pay grade and he can be a kept man(chuckle).  No really he would keep his job he loves it.

I don't have to actually go to work we know that we are lucky like this many people don't actually get that choice they have to work to survive.  I don't judge working parents, I don't think they need to justify themselves to me or anyone else and I shouldn't have to justify our family choice to anyone else and normally I don't.   Notice I said normally there have been a few times when I have not justified myself but had a few arguments with people about what I do.  One was some one I have known for a long time.  At a party we were talking and he asked what I did(we hadn't seen each other in a while) so I told him and the look on his smug face when he told me "oh that's not work" made me want to punch him in the face.

People I have met through others have asked the same question "what do you do all day?" I wonder if they know how insulting that question is.  I don't go around asking people who do paid employment what they do all day why do they need to know what I do all day.

Then there is the assumption that all stay at home mums do is go to the gym, go out to lunch with friends or out for coffee.  Lets get one thing straight some mums do that others don't I don't the only person I go out to lunch with is my husband when we go on a "date".

Ok that is the end of my rant for now.

Statements from stupid people.

Over the last few days I have had a couple of conversations with people and some of the comments have made me shake with anger.  How can seemingly smart people be so flippen stupid?

First comment:  Illegal Immigrants:  This is the first one I have had to clear up, lets get one thing straight those coming by boat to Australia AREN'T Illegal Immigrants they are ASYLUM SEEKERS, It is an offence against the migration act but it's not against the law for them to seek asylum in any country by any means.  Considering that 95% of those seeking asylum are found to be genuine refugee's you think people would start getting the picture but nope.  We still have to put up with the stupid comments from people.

Second Comment: Oh the Gillard Government is a crap Government:  Sure Gillard isn't that popular yes they have made some crappy choices.  But it's not a Crap Government it is actually the most successful Government to date pushing through more than 350 pieces of legislation through a minority Government.

Third Comment: I hate Gillard because of her voice: Yeah ok her voice is annoying, but you find it annoying you don't hate her because of the way she sounds that is just silly.

Forth Comment: The immigrants are causing Christmas and Easter to be cancelled:  Ummm Nope just no.

Seriously people if you are going to make stupid statements at least have the FACTS to back up your claims!!!!!!!!!  Oh and don't get shitty at me when I point out to you that you are wrong just accept the fact that you are wrong and LEARN something it just might change your view.

Funny man stories.

Chatting to people lately I have heard some pretty funny man stories, so today I thought I would share them.

Story one.
Wife has gone away for a short trip(weekend) leaving husband and kids at home not an hour into her journey she gets a phone call from husband asking how to use the WASHING MACHINE.

Story two.
Wife has gone out for just a few hours only to get a phone call on what to feed the children.

Story 3.
Wife goes away for a weekend only to have husband call her every few hours about something little.

There are millions of these kind of stories out there someone should write a book about them but they would all be the same, man unable to cope for a short amount of time of something that a woman does day in and day out.  Is it a sad sign of the times that men are going backwards not forwards in learning these things for themselves?

One of those stories are mine it really happened I was stunned.

I have heard stories of a man who works coming home and asking his wife who is a stay at home mum what she has done all day because the house is a mess.  That seriously is a stupid question for a man to ask if you have kids guess what she has been doing all day.  Being a stay at home mum doesn't mean she has become your maid, it means she is staying home to look after the children, yes some housework is required but not all of it.

I have known woman to go on strike after such a question has been asked.  And when their husbands ask where their clean clothes are are answered with "well you know what I do all day, well today I didn't do it" just to get the point across.(yes I have done this before as well and he only ever asked that once after that).

Share a "man" story with me.

A trip to the movies

Went and saw the Avengers today thought it would be crap but it wasn't to bad. Heaps of action a couple of good looking blokes and all in 3D(that's the version we picked).  Husband and I took child 1 to see it let her have half a day to do so.  Movie was suppose to start at 12:30pm but ended up starting at 1 pm and we ended up running late to pick up child 2 and 3.

It's a good thing my sister in law was able to grab them for us because we didn't get home until 20 to 4 :O.

Now we have to allow a day to take the younger two to go and see the lorax because they are rather annoyed at us.

Bullying

Today I read a heartbreaking story about a young boy who for the last two years has been bullied at school because of his weight, he had had enough and decided to post on facebook a post about it naming and shaming his tormentor.  He didn't sink to levels of name calling just asked why people joined in with this other young boy and did they realise they damage they were doing.

It was just heartbreaking and it took me back to the years that I was bullied as a child from the time I started school to the time I finished.  Every one use to tell me that I would look back on my school years as the best times of my life I thought that was stupid then and I still think that it's stupid today.  Seriously what a dumb assed thing to say to someone who is being bullied every day at school.  School wasn't the best years of my life school was hell on earth, at the first high school I went to the school was trying so hard to hide what was happening in it's school that they outright denied that I was being bullied.  They told me I needed witnesses and was denying there was a problem within the school all while telling my mum I really needed to see a councillor(jumped an 8 month waiting list their concerns were so great).  By the time I had reached year 9 I was called everything from dog to whore.  I had had everything thrown at me from erasers to staplers(yes staplers) across the class room.  The one time at that school that I stood up for myself I was told by the teacher to sit down and be quiet, mind you she had been watching what was happening and did NOTHING to stop it.  So I told the teacher to go fuck herself and gave her a right mouthful as well.  That afternoon I went home and told mum I was never returning to that school. I never did.

At the next school same sort of stuff happened and I just learnt to ignore it or started to stand up for myself and getting into trouble.  But I refused to allow those bullies to force me out of school.  I had the right to an education just like the rest of them and I got it.  I finished year 12 and called it a day on school(for then anyway).

And now it seems school still aren't able to stop bullying in extremes, The internet is making it worse with the now ablitity for cyber bullying and parents aren't aware until it's to late their children have committed suicide.  Or attacked their attacker.

The young man at the I was talking about has taken a non violent stance and has proven that he is a strong young man it takes more strength to combat this the way he has than to sink to the lowest level of violence.  So to the young man in question stand tall hold your head high and under stand that school is such a sort time in your life and you will go on to bigger and better things and when you get to my age(*cough* that made me sound old) you will look back and think school was hell but I made it through I am stronger than they were and I am successful today I am way better than they think I was.

I am all better and the kids are back at school.

I am all better today was a bout of gastro(yuck) Husband ended up coming home early and I went to bed to sleep it out.

Today school is back after 2 weeks of school holidays(YAY) the last few days of the holidays are the toughest, the kids know that school is going back soon and are trying to drag the days out longer than normal and wanting to shove more into their day, Can we go here, Can we do this, What about this, MUM was all I heard for about 5 days.  Or my Favourite one school hasn't started back yet so we get to stay up late.  Umm nope you don't you get to go to bed when I say so.

Over all I have great kids they love me and I love them, Child2 tells me he is never leaving home and is going to live with me forever <3.  Little does he know that I once said the same thing to my mum.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.

The sick wife.

Today I am sick, I was awake when husband went into work this morning and I was sick then.  He was unable to stay home and help out today because they are already short staffed at work and being mid level boss they need him in.

But then he calls up with a bright idea I should go to the Local walk in clinic where you give your name sit on your backside and WAIT and WAIT and WAIT and WAIT(ok you get the point) it takes a long time to see a DR and I have the kids with me.  And I know my kids they would get bored with in 5 minutes of being there.  Really all I think I have is gasrto I have done nothing but vomit on and off all night long.

Here is hoping I get well soon today was suppose to be housework day but I am not doing anything this bloody sick.

I am going to try to get in to UNI :O

It's so scary, earlier this week I was helping out my sister in law with an assignment and was enjoying it.  Unbeknownst to me my sister in law decided to start an enrolment application for me at her UNI at the moment I am trying to get into a tertiary preparation course then will go on to apply for UNI.

It's so scary what if I fail?  I hope I get in because further study is something that I have wanted to do for a while now.  I finished year 12 and did a Vocational Education Training Cert as well but I haven't done any study in a long long time.

Here is hoping that I get in.

Musings

I realise not many people are reading my blogs and I am sure to most of you it's as boring as batshit but it helps me find a centre in my life by putting things down on "paper".  I am sure a diary would be more useful and less people will see it(well really no one but me) but that is as boring as hell and I have been there and done the whole diary thing and to be honest re reading my diaries from 15+ years ago depresses the hell out of me.

They weren't happy times in my life I was bullied through out my school years and this made life hell, actually it made life unbearable to the point I wanted to end it all.  And I tried numerous times to work up the courage to end it all with one real attempt.  A whole heap of panadol and a overnight stay in a mental health facility.  I look back on my diaries and see the pain and hurt and anger that I was and wonder how in the hell I am lucky enough to have ended up as I have.  Happy, Healthy a wonderful marriage with a loving husband and 3 beautiful children(who on occasion are feral like most children).  And I realise that it was hard bloody work.  You can't pick yourself up out of the black abyss by not doing the hard work, you have to realise that you are worth something and it takes a lot to convince yourself after being put down for so long that you are worth something.  You have to love yourself and I don't mean as in love yourself like you think your it and a bit.  I mean the true loving yourself being happy with who you are and how you are mentally, physically and emotionally.  And this takes work.  You have to find the real you the one you have hidden from yourself and the world for so long that you have forgotten who the hell that person is.

To pull back from the point of wanting to end it all is a hard struggle you find that there are days where you wonder why you failed, there are days where you wonder why you were left here why didn't it work.  Then all of a sudden things start making sense things start happening in your life where you start to see why you you didn't succeed in the attempt you made you are slowing clawing your way out of the black abyss that has dragged you down.  You finally start to realise that people do care and you are important and people would be sad if you left them, that people love you and it's ok to love yourself.

No one can take these hard steps for you, you have to take them yourself seeking help and asking people for help are NOT signs of weakness they are a sign that you have been strong for way to long and need a little help.  Everyone needs a little help now and then and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

For anyone reading this and is feeling suicidal please call (if in Australia or your relevent countries number please just google it)

http://www.lifeline.org.au/

or

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

These places are very good starting points on working your way out of the black abyss family and friends are another great port of call, Trust me there are people out there who care about you even if it's just me.

Giving Advice

Normally I hate giving advice but lately I seem to be right on the money with the advice I have been giving.  I am not doing fluffy "oh well maybe" crap I am just telling people my opinion very bluntly and it seems to be working.

I don't know what's going on I normally suck at giving advice(no really I do).  There have been some situations lately that have required me to give advice while I am not nasty with it I am trying to be truthful.

I am sure I will go back to giving crap advice soon but while I am on a roll I am going to stick with what I doing as it's working for now.

:O the very unusual happened.

Husband has taken extended leave :O 14 whole days off work.  This means more work for me as another person is in the house constantly.  Ok he is normally sleeping a lot but at least he is here right?

Poor man needs to catch up on sleep, needs to drive me crazy with what are you doing, why are you doing it that way, it would be better if you did it this way.  To the point where I get frustrated and tell him that if he thinks he can do a better job have the fuck at it.  No No honey you do it I will be quiet now Arrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh.  So far we are 7 days into his time off work and only 7 more to go.  On the bright side at least I have another person here with me for the first week of the school holidays, I can make him take the kids out and leave me in peace to prepare for when he goes back to work.  And first shift of the rank is NIGHT SHIFT.  Really people are stupid putting people with children on night shift during school holidays it just makes the person who is at home with the kids annoyed because they have to find something to do with the kids for an entire day so said person can sleep.  Then they are awake for all of 2 hours before they are out the door again and heading to work CRY.

maybe I should make him take the kids on a holiday like I do every year him and the 3 kids can go away and leave me here by myself.  Hmmm I am liking that idea more and more.